What can I do to help?
Call me if you need me?
If you clicked on this link you came because you are the BESTEST friend or BESTEST mom or BESTEST Dad ever and you want to know how to the help the new mom that you all love so much.
In addition to the baby showers, gender reveals and sip and see’s we have to start adding Postpartum Showers too.
What is a postpartum shower??
It’s simple. It is a gathering of people who give emotional and physical support to a new mom during the first six weeks to three months after birth. All women are not designed the same. 1 in 7 will experience postpartum depression and Black women will be the least likely to be treated with worst case scenarios some women can die from postpartum recovery.
I became a postnatal doula to fulfill the burdening needs of new and expecting moms, the busy mom and the mompreneur. Women need the utmost emotional support during this transition into motherhood. But life literally stops when the baby arrives and the pressure begins.
Here are a few ways to help your new mom:
1. HIRE A POST PARTUM CARE DOULA!!!
A postpartum doula provides emotional support to a new mother and assists her with transitioning into motherhood by providing information on things such as infant feeding, emotional and physical recovery from birth, mother–baby bonding, infant soothing, and basic newborn care.
A postpartum doula is there to help a new family in those first days and weeks after bringing home a new baby. Research shows that moms, dads and babies have an easier time with this transition if a good support team is in place.
2. FOOD
Having someone bring you a home-cooked meal is truly the way to a mom’s heart and her belly. You could prep meals for her or have meals delivered straight to her if you’re not into cooking. Ask a few other friends and have them rotate days to help cook for the week kind of like a meal train. You can set up a meal train registry from family and friends to have meals prepared for you as long as you need at www.mealtrain.com
3. CLEANING
Cleaning was the last chore on my list as a new mom. I was too tired to accomplish anything. This is the most needed for moms. Tidying up the kitchen, bedroom or the living room because that is where I lived as a new mom. Gifting a new mom a maid or cleaning service will be greatly appreciated so that mom isn’t boggled down with how the house looks. Moms job is to recover and establish a great breastfeeding relationship to maintain her milk supply.
4. LAUNDRY
I was backed up with laundry as a new mom, still am, with mostly everyone else’s because I stayed in the same clothes regularly, don’t judge me. Offering to wash, fold and put away clothes took the stress level down with a new baby.
If a mom says no, trust and believe that she really does need your help and either is afraid to ask, does not know how to ask or she probably just forgot.
5. ERRANDS
Running simple errands are impossible for a new mom being that she is home bound for at least six weeks. Stopping by to run those personal errands like grocery shopping, baby shopping or dry cleaning relieves mom from traveling with the baby within the first six weeks. Even if you travel with the mama, its nice to have someone hold the baby while you shop. Or better yet gift her our postpartum services to take care of those errands for a new mom so she can concentrate on her new baby.
6. LET HER SHOWER
I can’t tell you how many times I wish I could have called someone over to watch my Apple while I showered. Literally days will go by just from pain and lack of time.
Knowing that someone is there watching the baby while you bathe is relaxing. Mom is able to take her time and indulge for a minute and not have to worry about the baby crying or the oh so ever phantom cries. Relax, scrub and sing as loud as you can.
7. CALL BACK
For most moms it is a bit of a burden to ask someone to help with the aforementioned tips so its easier to hope that some one will be nice enough to offer assistance. If a mom says no, trust and believe that she really does need your help and either is afraid to ask, does not know how to ask or she probably just forgot. So call back after a couple of hours just to be sure mom is okay. And moms sometimes need a listening ear. Not to lend unsolicited advice but just someone to talk to about her new journey.
And lastly…
8. LEAVE
As helpful as these tips are extensive company can be overwhelming as well. Sometimes moms are just too exhausted to entertain or she might just want the alone time without the house duties to relax and enjoy her baby. Ask what mom needs, deliver and keep the time spent with her at a minimum unless she asks you to stay.
And there are plenty more tips where this came from, listen...the list can go on and on.
So the next time you go to visit a new mom, WAIT until she and family have made it home and allow her and her support partner to welcome you to their home.
Don’t forget to try utilizing one or some of these tips or just ask. Moms will be so surprised and grateful for any help they can get especially unexpectedly!
What are some tips you’ve used or asked for to help with being a new mom?
How can I help you achieve your goals today, honey?!
*****This blog post is not meant to replace the advice of your medical
provider. Please consult your physician before attempting new routines in lifestyles after having a baby.
Jada Metcalf | is a mom of two, ROSE Community Transformer, WIC Breastfeeding Peer Counselor and lactation consultant in training and a maternal wellness boobtik business owner.