what I would do differently as a c section mom

Honey, SAVE this post for later then #bookmehoney

I have supported many families in all types of birth settings but many don’t know I’ve never bearthed vaginally. Not my story to tell in YOUR b’earth unless you ask me. I’ve had two cesarean births and although my babees are here it was not what I expected or planned at all. Birth is so unpredictable so you need to be able to pivot. But, I also didn’t prepare with education or plan for it. I know for sure I’d exceed my goal if I had to do it all over gain.

Now SOME c sections are necessary. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia with my first. This post isn’t to debate that but there are still things I coulda woulda shoulda as they say that could have been done to circumvent a c section. If you’re pregnant and have goals of an unmedicated B’earth keep reading, honey! Education is key!

Now let me be clear!!! I have no guilt whatsoever about the bearths of my babees. But the choices I made were because I had no knowledge and very uninformed. I had two cesareans in one year!!! So STILL talk to me nice!! My motivation in bearth work is for it not to happen to you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know a thing or two about physiological B’earth, contractions or making a roadmap for your bearthing goals. Read more for a few things I would have done differently now that I have been a doula supporting 60+ births.

What I would do differently!!

1. Make up my mind up and stick to the plan. Because whether you think you can or can’t…YOU’RE RIGHT!! Yes, B’earth can be intensely uncomfortable. But that pain is your power. No one can want it more than you do!!

2. Don’t “just” listen to your doctor as the plan. Sure, you may have a great provider but they follow protocols and none of them include a spontaneous vaginal bearth. They rarely see them sooooooo.. Find a Midwife in a hospital or home birth setting that knows physiological birth, knows biearth can take long time especially for first time honeys. You need someone to advicate for your bearthing roadmap. A plan isn’t enough. You should be informed about each phase of labor what happens to your body physically. But don’t put all your faith in that. Put your faith in your body and it’s ability to bearth your babee!!

3. Take. The. Damn. Class.

Yep, I didn’t take a childbirth class just breastfeeding because it was simply what I had more fear about, feeding the baby. I asked a few people who had biearth and heard it wasn’t “necessary” the doctor will tell you what to do!! 🗣️ BS!! Classes inform you of how b’earthing works and what you should prepare for and how to advocate for your plan. But a good class will teach you 🗣️”DON’T PANIC TAKE CHARGE” of what you can when the contractions get really intense…and that would be your rhythm. You’re in a fog during labor and the pain overrides common sense, rationality and possibly your bearth plan. But if you understand what is happening to your body and that it’s all apart of the process it reduces your fear tremendously. And if we reduce the fear we reduce the intensity of the pain too.

3. 🫂NO students!!!

BLACK WOMEN especially. You are NOT a spectacle or an experiment. Don’t allow anyone in that room but the limited amount of birth team members who are supposed to be there. Let them experiment on someone else, honey. They love to sneak in when you’re in active labor and uncomfortable to ask you a question like “do you mind if students watch?!” HELL NO, not on my watch!!! You’ll constantly have eyes watching you, who needs that in bearth.

4. Make sure your partner doesn’t let you give in!!! Many partners have never seen their partner in pain and it can be painful to watch. Words of encouragement and affirmation to keep you going truly helps. Don’t give in. Still… stick to the plan, no matter how pissed you get in the throws of contractions or that ring of damn fire!!!! I promise you in the end you’ll appreciate them supporting and keeping you on the roadmap you created. B’earth is the LONGEST workout ever. Prepare with mindfulness, eating, hydrating and resting when she rests too. Your support should also change for each stage of labor. The biggest job is to keep you calm and relaxed so b’earth hormones can do it’s job.

5. Hired a doula!!!

I’m sure doulas were around and definitely not called doulas when I gave birth but I needed one. Social media has done a great job of providing awareness to their importance. My service is to not only educate and advocate for your wishes but to keep you calm and apply counter pressure and hip squeezes to get you through transition, the most intense portion of birth. Now a lot of that depends on your nurses & providers and your bearth. Once you begin interventions with pain management it can restrict how much movement you can do which makes birth more painful. Movement is medicine!! Movement isn’t allowed or against policy due to the risk of falling. Nothing is law in the hospital. There are positions you can still utilize in the bed too if the medication makes you dizzy which can be a fall risk. Remember you’re in a facility full of drugs. The more drugs you take the more drugs they offer. It’s call the cascade of interventions. My clients will ask for it when they want it so prepare to hear the question often! But specifically, I keep you calm, relaxed and encouraged when contractions get intense. It’s all love honey bc you’re about meet your babee.

5. Use toilet and shower to relax!!

The toilet is what we call the “Dilation Station”. It keeps you in the UFO position (upright, forward and leaning) relaxes the pelvic floor and helps to labor babee down. Also your partner or doula can provide counter pressure or hip squeezes to make contractions more tolerable and to open the outlet of your pelvis to make room for your babee to exit. If your babee is not engaged or still high in the pelvis try sitting on the toilet for 5 contractions with one leg elevated. Repeat with the other leg too. After the toilet, relax in the shower with the water flowing down your back to progress labor as long as you can. At least 30 minutes really helps. I’ve seen moms progress quickly from it, plenty of births. Request intermittent monitoring so you can achieve these goals. Remeber, NOTHING is law in the hospital.

6. Stay out of the bed!!

Move as long as possible unless resting. Your routine should include rest every 60-90 minutes or so to power up for transition. That bed keeps you in an unconventional laboring position, on your back, making your contractions more intense because babee cannot maneuver through the pelvis freely and you become more louder. The more vocal you are the more they push meds on and in you. Again, once you accept certain meds they won’t “allow you” to move around for fear of falling due the possibility numbness of your legs or dizziness from the meds. They don’t want screaming mamas scaring other mamas which is all apart of physiological bearth. Go figure!!! Keep moving honey. If you are confined to the bed be sure to change positions every 30 minutes including utilizing the all fours position. Your partner and doula should stay close to keep you stable during this position change.

6. Stay my ass home as long as possible. My second bearth I was admitted at 7 CM!!! But no plan in place. And everything went left because they prematurely broke my water. Then they proceeded to doubt my body with with the old unevideced based cliche “once a C-section always a C-section.” NOT TRUE!!!! The worst OB I’ve ever experienced with my clients fixed her face to say something profound actually. “We don’t labor in the hospital, you came here to have a babee and that’s what we’re going to do!!” 😩 She’s right, you don’t labor in the hospital, labor at home, honey as long as you can. You need a plan for that!! They are a business and will convince you that you don’t have to experience any of the physiological process of b’earth like pain, movement as medicine, being nauseous or laboring down. They’ll convince you to speed it up which is essentially forcing you into labor. If you want an unmedicated bearth, honey this is part of the process. Your body knows what it’s doing. It’s your rite of passage!

7. And lastly practicing breath and mind control. Yoga, breathwork videos and visual imagery helps keep you focused. Some clients have utilized hyonobirtging ir even calm birth classes which promote mindfulness to get through labor. But practicing BEFORE the babee arrives is key. For an active exercise try holding ice in your hands throughout your pregnancy. Ice exercises really do help you maintain control over your mental state. Hold ice in your hands for 2 minutes (the length of a normal contraction in active labor) and practice breathing and creating your rhythm/routine when those contractions hit. And remember HAND ON YOUR KNEES, HANDS ONYOUR KNEES if the pain hurts ya better not freeze! Drop, squat and SWAY!!! Twerking actually rocks the pelvis back and forth engaging your babee. When it’s time to deliver pop that booty our honey, it relieves some of the pressure.

It works, honey!! What your mind does the body will follow. Breath control involves finding your rhythm with breath and movement. Upright breathing keeps oxygen flowing to you and your babee and movement keeps you from tensing muscles up making contractions less intense.

If you can remember these few steps they can drastically change the trajectory of your B’earth, honey!!

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Due date getting close and feeling unprepared?? TAKE THE DAMN CLASS with me honey!!! 🐝

***This blog post is not to replace medical advice.****